7.29.2016

:: WATTLED STITCHED BLANKET ::

 

Hello, How are you?
I'm doing ok today. I finished another blanket this past week. This makes blanket number two in the past three weeks. I think I've been putting or really pushing all of my frustration out into crocheting therefore it seems I've been in fast gear. Well...at least that's my story for all the extreme stitching that I've been doing.
 
But really and truly~ it's been really good therapy.  I sit and stitch. Sit and stitch. And sit and stitch some more. I have the TV on in the background just for noise but really don't pay any attention to what's playing. Every now and then I hear Garrett, my youngest, giggle out loud in the other room which makes me smile. He's happy. My sadness goes away for a moment and I just close my eyes and breath. Stitch some more.
 
That's about how my days are going. Just slow paced and fast stitching.
 
 
I had a little hiccup with my blog already. No big surprise with blogger as there is always something wrong with it. I put up a section for new followers to follow but~ a sweet friend pointed out to me that it would not let you follow but only to unfollow???? What??? Why???  who knows. So I took it down and went back to Bloglovin and also put back up Goggle Followers. So, if you like you can click either one of those choices off to the right side of my blog and follow there. Or, like myself...when I find a blog I love to follow I just add to my favorites to my computer and they are always there. It's really whatever or however you prefer.

Oh and also, I am still on Instagram under the user name: shariann47
you can always find me there.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend








7.23.2016

:: THE PERFECT CROCHET BAMBOO HOOKS ::






when the mail arrives on time. I've been patiently waiting on these little beauties to arrive.Ohhh, they are wonderful.I have to say...my other crochets hooks have now gone into file "unknown"
never to return.Out with the old and in with the new. just look at them. stare for a while if you like.
they are great!. perfect.I have already tried them out.  I started on another blanket
and it's just about done. Soon I will show you and I used one of these hooks to make it.
Oh my goodness, it just glided with such perfect ease with every stitch. the more I stitched...the fast I got and the more I loved it. The only thing about them...I wish....they were just a little tidy-bit longer.
Even though they are the exact same size as all other crochet hooks,I don't know, they just seem like they "should" be a wee bit longer~ but not much.I guess it's just me.
 
 
 
do you have any?
bamboo crochet hooks?
If not....you should get some.
I promise.
you will love them.
 
 
 
 

 

 

 
 

7.22.2016

:: COUNTING ::





I've been counting. Not really counting stitches but counting down the days. Yesterday marked 5 months since my daughter passed. It's hard. I really hate it when I do this- but, it just comes. A week before the day....I turn into a complete and utter mess. Do not talk to me, don't look at me and don't mention her name. No one is allowed to say her name except me. I hate this feeling. It's a feeling like no other. I am surely not the young free spirited woman I once was. Where is she? and how do I get her back?.  Questions I asked God everyday. Does he hear me? I scream so loud. So loud from the bottomless pit of my stomach and strain with all my might to get one single word out. I  yell. I scream. Why! Why her?

I promised this blog would not be about Lauren, but.....I'm sorry. This seems to be the only way I can truly get what has been bottled up inside of me since that horrible day. A day I would not wish upon any mother. She was my only daughter. So beautiful inside and out. Not one ounce of trouble from day one.

How can God write out our story even before we are born. How can he give a women such a wonderful, loving, generous gift knowing that that child's life has a number on it? Without us even knowing. And then. After we have become so in love with this child you would turn your world upside down to make theirs wonderful. Care for them. Protect them. Teach them. Get sooo attached to them and all of a sudden.......bam!!!   It's over. Snap of a finger. Gone. Please someone explain to me.

I have talked to God. I have screamed at God. I've been told that he does things for a reason and good will come out of this. Trust in Him. Believe in Him. Have Faith in Him.
Lord knows my cries. Everyday. Every night and moments in between.
Maybe it's too soon for me to understand but right now at this moment....I don't see it.

All I do know is that I miss her. I am utterly lost. My days are all a blur. Hour by hour I surfer from major memory loss cause all I think about is Lauren. Then, before I know it...it's dark. Sometimes I sleep and other times I don't.
But....I keep moving on. I put on a pretend happy face in the morning. I still do my normal routine but.....
one thing is missing. I don't get to hear her say....good morning mom. And we start our day.


 Please no comments are necessary but I know a few of you will say something. This is just my story.
And....
Maybe.....
One day.....someone can relate....you are not alone.

                                                                         



7.14.2016

:: A New Love For Cotton ::


 

Thank you to those of you who have inquired as to my whereabouts. Everything has been okay with me, but there have been a few things that have happened within my family that have made me pause and reflect on life a bit. Most of you already know and I want to THANK YOU for your heartfelt thoughts and message. They were all truly touching. Lately I've been holding those I love a little bit closer and trying to look at things with a different perspective. Not an easy thing to do. There for awhile, I shut everything and everyone out!  But....let's just say....I'm doing okay for now. I'm not better and I'm not good....just okay.

 
 



 I've been keeping busy the last couple of weeks. Getting back into things that I love to do. It helps.  Making blankets have been one of those things so that's what I've been doing. Last week I actually went out and about by myself. I went to Michael's to look around with no intent on buying anything.....well....that didn't work. I stumble across some new yarn. Maybe some of you have already seen it or used. It's made by BERNAT, called MAKER- HOME DEC.  It's 72% cotton and 28% nylon. It's hands down the best cotton yarn I've ever used. Now I'm not 100% sure if it's good for making washcloths but for blankets, rugs, or pillows I would highly recommend it. It's wonderful.




I made this blanket in four days. I forgot how fun it is to just sit and relax, watch a little tv, talk on the phone and enjoy. It's amazing how quickly you can make a blanket with one solid color. In the past, I used to dread making a blanket and most times I would get discouraged or loose interest real quick. Then next it would all go into the closet never to be seen again for what seemed decades. Yes~ I used to be quite the little waster of yarn. But....happy to say....not in this case. I used every single skin of yarn. Alternating between rows of doubles and trebles. Came out quit nice.
Also matches the color scheme throughout the house. It travels with me from room to room. Really from Lauren's room to the living room.
I just love it........



Well, I guess that's it for today. I'm glad I started blogging again. I miss everyone.
I'' be back soon.
 
 
 
Sincerely,  s h a r i ♥ 
 

7.13.2016

I'm Back



Hello everyone.

I'm Back. Never thought I would return to blogger but I am in much need of a little bit of soothing therapy to distract my thoughts.
As most of you may already know, 4 months ago I lost my only daughter at the age of 17 in a terrible car accident. This surely was a test that I was never prepared for and I'm not really sure how I'm walking this earth but I am adjusting. Slowly.

First of all, I want to thank all of you who followed me on my old blog and sent heartfelt message out to me. That mean a lot to me. It took me a little over two months to read them but I did and I THANK YOU.

For the past couple of weeks I've been thinking a lot about writing down my thoughts as I go through this phase. I do believe it will help me. This blog is not going to be about Lauren, maybe little thoughts here and there but mainly to get myself on track so I won't go completely insane.

I finally picked up my hooks again a few weeks ago and I really have to say it has given me some peace while I'm home. Some days these walls feel as if they are closing in on me. Suffocating actually~ but since I did.....I feel a little like myself again.

Now....I am by no means over what has happened to me and my family. I am most certain I will have good days and bad days ahead. Right now I think I am in an in-between phase as you might put it so I think this will give me some guidance.

 Also before I go....I know most of you who have followed me over the years know that I have changed my blogs name about a hundred times but......I can assure you that this blog will never change. It is stuck with me forever since it is named after my beautiful daughter,
 " l a u r e n  m a r i e "  It will be mostly a reflection of not only my style but hers as well along with knits and crochet. Hope you come back to visit. 

                                                                                                                    Sincerely, Shari♥